Follow Your Dreams-

Sound advice, actually. Not quite so easy as this fluffy, warm and fuzzy phrase sounds, but still sound advice.

However, I wonder how many people have a dream that can be followed? I remember in my own youth (we're talking very young here) I dreamed of knowing everything. I hungered for knowledge. At that age I lacked perspective, and really that is a very general sort of dream. Probably more of a longing.

As I gained perspective I learned that getting knowledge required time and effort. I don't really think I had a problem with the effort. I actually like the act of learning. No, the issue is time. Everything is virtually infinite. How much time would be needed to learn everything?

Infinite time.

Not a practical pursuit for a finite creature with a finite lifespan. Consequently, I was frustrated early in life. I would not be able to achieve my dream. No lesser dream sufficed. I never resolved to follow another dream, but rather just drifted through my life. I still loved learning, but it was random and undisciplined, and never developed depth.

In our childhood some of us have dreams. "I want to be a policeman" or some such thing, that holds and directs our lives. Some people follow through, and do become a "policeman." I have no idea if they are happier over all, but I like to believe that following such a dream has some degree of fulfillment. It gives direction and order to life, at least.

Interestingly, my disordered approach to living led to me being a "policeman." A correctional officer, actually, but still a law enforcement professional. To be quite honest, though the job provided well for my family my heart was never in it. I did it well. I appreciate the job, but I never had a sense of fulfilling my dream.

Here I am, late in life and trying to find a viable dream. The quest leads me to the idea of becoming a resource for others seeking their dreams. More of a notion than a dream, at least for me, but the idea promises some degree of fulfillment. Some kind of dream agent, a dreamer's assistant. Concierge of the Dream.

How does one turn that into a career?

Can dreaming become a philosophy, a philosophy on purpose? Perhaps, if the dream leads to concrete plans and actions. Plans that are flexible enough to survive the rigors of actual living, and actions that are focused enough to move toward fulfilling the dream. Perhaps, if it generates or modifies the dreamer's world view.

Is hunting for your dream the same as following it? It is at least a pursuit, an occupation, a thing to do. It is not easy, answering this kind of question. That may indicate that the question is simply not the right question.

I still have the urge to know everything. I still recognize my limitations relative to fulfilling such a dream. No, I need to cast this aside, and follow a more realistic dream.

Perhaps I shall become The King of Suede. Yeah.

Lines of Tension-

Some years ago I came up with the idea of lines of tension existing between various aspects of my being. Not just my own being, the concept would apply to everyone. However, I am only fully familiar with my own being, and these were my own thoughts.

As an example, take the ideas of freedom and security. Currently the world is troubled by some nebulous threat called "the terrorists." In exchange for greater security from this threat it is expected that we give up some of our freedoms. Thus, we can see that there is a line of tension between the concept of freedom and the concept of security.

To get more security one must give up some freedom. To gain freedom one must sacrifice security. Tension.

I follow a blog called Geeks on Tour. In the post linked here Chris relates a line of tension I had not thought about. Dreams----Duty. The example was two movies. Follow the link, as Chris relates the two films quite nicely, demonstrating the line of tension between following one's dreams and following one's duty.

In my vague theory on these lines of tension I see happiness/contentment/fulfillment existing for each individual somewhere along each line. My mother-in-law Alta would be quite content to give up a great many freedoms to gain security. I, however, will tollerate considerably less security to have freedom. We are at different places on the line of tension, each seeking whatever happiness/contentment/fulfillment we can find.

Life is comprised of many aspects that exist in tension. Dreams and duty are another two. I responded to Chris's observations because sacrificing dreams in the name of duty had caused considerable trouble within me in the past. I was falling into a debilitating depression due to the level I had sacrificed dreams to fulfill duties. It was necessary to bring these aspects of myself back into tension in order for me to regain stability and begin working toward whatever happiness/contentment/fulfillment I might hope to find along that given line.

A perfectly balanced life would exist for any particular individual at that place where all lines of tension are in balance. Not the absolute center of each line, of course. It would be the place where each line is occupied at just the right point. It would be the ideal life for that individual.

I can only imagine such a place, and wonder what it would be like. I generally find balancing one line throws another off balance, and I am constantly recovering from previous imbalances. I suspect that my experience is not unique.

At best this model of lines in tension can be useful in assessing conflicting aspects of life. Perhaps I will find the time to asess my life in the light of my little theory. Make lists. Draw lines.

Time. Hmmm. Time----

What is at the other end of that line?

Inaction-

I must admit I haven't made much of this wonderful tool. Here I have the Internet as a place to play with my philosophy, and little has happened.

Part of the problem is Real Life. I have living issues to deal with, and don't find the time for fleshing out my philosophy. I have changed to the night shift, and that is impacting my time and energy. I am working or resting from work, and constantly adjusting to this night/day living. I haven't found my personal cycle in these hours, and as a result I haven't much focus or energy.

A big part of the problem is me. I recall in my youth being fascinated by the trappings of science, and thus thinking I wanted to be a scientist. However, the vague desire was not sufficient to drive me to learn HOW to be a scientist. I just liked science "stuff." I liked the impression I had of science and scientist, not the actual science.

Science is hard. Like any field it requires dedication and effort and time. I did not have enough dedication to commit the time and effort.

Philosophy attracted me, as well. To think great thoughts, to know things in depth. However, again I did not have the dedication to put forth the effort and time.

I have proved to be an intellectual wanderer. I drift from one thing to another, reading and studying and observing. However, I don't do it systematically, or consistently. I do it in passing.

There is so much to know, and so little time. It is a bit like my hunger to travel. What is on the other side of the horizon? What might I see? I long to travel like that, but to do so is to give up the place I now live. I would not have the depth of knowledge of a place. Similarly, with the intellectual wandering I do not gain the depth of knowledge of a field of study.

At one point in my life I was trying to study philosophy, and also learn how to become wealthy. My desire was to gain enough wealth to care for my young family so that I could focus on studies. However, becoming wealthy is hard. It requires dedication and effort and time. Since wealth was not really what I wanted, I did not do that well.

I have done little. I am a bit of a drifter in everything I do. I wander from one pretty idea to another, but never stay long. My mind is a butterfly, but lacking the purpose of even a butterfly.

Still, this blog exists for a purpose. To explore and give flesh to my personal philosophy. Perhaps, over time, something of worth will collect here.

Time will tell.

Young philosophers-

I was poking about a bit in cyberspace, and came upon a question in someones space regarding her son. He was interested in becoming a philosopher, and she was inquiring about the prospects for employment. In philosophy, that generally means an academic career.

Sadly, I could find no way to comment as a guest on that particular forum. It is an exhausting prospect, signing up and logging onto all of the many forums out there just to make one comment. However, her question is one dear to my heart.

So, to answer, I recommend that her son pursue the dream. In the days when I became an adult there was a glut of professors, courtesy of the Viet Nam war and student deferments. Since philosophy is a huge subject, never-ending, it allowed students to ride the deferment train a long, long time. So, I faced a world in which there were a lot of competitors for the few philosophy professorships.

It was not necessarily a mistake on my part to turn from the dream of becoming a philosopher by profession. However, I do think that we pay a very large price in forsaking a dream. Dreams are vital to the soul, to the essence of each of our individual beings. Forsaking a dream is sacrificing a part of oneself. That sacrifice should never be made thoughtlessly. If possible, it should never be made at all.

Pursue the dream, young philosopher. Be flexible, be creative, but do not forsake the dream. Attend to the practical, but never let it overwhelm the dream. There are a thousand little deaths down any other road. Seek life. Follow the dream.