Friday, August 29, 2008


I must admit I haven't made much of this wonderful tool. Here I have the Internet as a place to play with my philosophy, and little has happened.

Part of the problem is Real Life. I have living issues to deal with, and don't find the time for fleshing out my philosophy. I have changed to the night shift, and that is impacting my time and energy. I am working or resting from work, and constantly adjusting to this night/day living. I haven't found my personal cycle in these hours, and as a result I haven't much focus or energy.

A big part of the problem is me. I recall in my youth being fascinated by the trappings of science, and thus thinking I wanted to be a scientist. However, the vague desire was not sufficient to drive me to learn HOW to be a scientist. I just liked science "stuff." I liked the impression I had of science and scientist, not the actual science.

Science is hard. Like any field it requires dedication and effort and time. I did not have enough dedication to commit the time and effort.

Philosophy attracted me, as well. To think great thoughts, to know things in depth. However, again I did not have the dedication to put forth the effort and time.

I have proved to be an intellectual wanderer. I drift from one thing to another, reading and studying and observing. However, I don't do it systematically, or consistently. I do it in passing.

There is so much to know, and so little time. It is a bit like my hunger to travel. What is on the other side of the horizon? What might I see? I long to travel like that, but to do so is to give up the place I now live. I would not have the depth of knowledge of a place. Similarly, with the intellectual wandering I do not gain the depth of knowledge of a field of study.

At one point in my life I was trying to study philosophy, and also learn how to become wealthy. My desire was to gain enough wealth to care for my young family so that I could focus on studies. However, becoming wealthy is hard. It requires dedication and effort and time. Since wealth was not really what I wanted, I did not do that well.

I have done little. I am a bit of a drifter in everything I do. I wander from one pretty idea to another, but never stay long. My mind is a butterfly, but lacking the purpose of even a butterfly.

Still, this blog exists for a purpose. To explore and give flesh to my personal philosophy. Perhaps, over time, something of worth will collect here.

Time will tell.